- Our "neighborhood
gym" is in Teresa Carpenter's garage and often spills into our
Barton Hills neighborhood streets. Teresa's outgoing personality and
our group's dynamics keep us off our couches and working toward buffness.
Splitting Teresa's $50/hour charge makes our fitness more affordable.
Our 5-member "BAFA" group ("Baggy Arms-Fat Anterior")
is now "Buff Arms-Firm Anterior." This weekly "torture"
treatment consists of core strength building plus a variety of other
activities for building endurance and self defense skills. Teresa mixes-it-up
so it is fun and interesting. She enjoys participating in sports and
always is looking for new ways to make exercise fun. "Hoppie &
Bob" have disappeared from our underarms. I can put on our pants
standing-up. And, young males driving by and seeing us execute a "Teresa
treat" have yelled "positive assessments." :) A "Teresa
Treat" is a few push-ups, quad burns, etc as you find a dead-end
street/guard rail or other "place to rest" from a forced march.
Not bad for a group of 50ish gals! And should we overdo, Teresa can
help us work out the kinks as a registered massage therapist.
- I tried every
diet in the book: the Toadstool Diet, the South Padre Island Beach Diet,
The French-Fried Couch Potato Diet, William Shatner’s Trekkie Diet,
the Beer Drinkers Diet, and the infamous Yo-Yo Diet, and then I met
the Fitness Goddess, Teresa the Terrible. She said, “Diet! You don’t
need no stinkin’ diet! Come to my gym and I will have you in shape in
no time!” …she didn’t say what kind of shape! So once a week to the
torture chamber we trodded, the exercise sisters moaned and groaned,
and sweated and plodded through those miserable exercises…. Then one
day, the Weight Fairy waved a wand, and I discovered that I had lost
an inch off my waist…don’t know where it went, but I think I saw it
in a puddle on Teresa’s gym floor. I hadn’t lost any weight, but I was
excited to discover that my clothes fit much more comfortably, and I
could beat up my husband anytime he gave me lip! Eight months later,
I am 8 pounds lighter and well on my way to reaching my goal of 10 pounds
in one year.
- I was thrilled
when I stepped on the scale and discovered that I had lost 20 pounds.
Crazy, huh? Just goes to show that a combination of diet and exercise
really makes the difference. Teresa was right! I should have watched
my calories and eaten more fruit, veggies and fiber right from the beginning.
It took a diet program (and a monetary investment) to tell me what Teresa
had told me all along - you need to eat more sensibly AND exercise -
I thought I could just jog all of this extra weight off. Clothes fit
much better. Air travel is more comfortable. I am a notch tighter on
my belt. I highly recommend Teresa's program (including eating tips)
to clients, especially men.
- I was thrilled
when I was trying on clothes with my daughter and she remarked "Mom,
you have a six-pack"! To which I asked "is that a good thing?"
Needless to say, I learned that it's a coveted thing to have defined
abs and I have Teresa's workouts to thank for that!"
Tales from the
- I use the excuse
of walking or running a client's pet to give the pet and the client
some exercise in an attempt to get them to at least walk when I'm not
around. One day I was out jogging up a hill with a client and had the
dog happily trotting on a leash in front of me. A car stopped and it
turned out to be a friend I had not seen in a while. He asked "what
are you doing in my neighborhood?" I replied that I was training
a client, to which he asked "Uh, you do know that's a DOG, don't
- A client, ASM,
was doing sets of crunches with me. After the last crunch, she cried
out "Call 911". Alarmed that something was wrong, I hurried
to her side and asked what was wrong. She said "I need a fireman
- my abs are on fire"!
- My clients have
grown to love the sound of the beep on my watch indicating the end of
their minute of whatever torturous exercise we are currently doing.
One client even loves the sound of being done that she claims she is
going to record that sound to put on her cell phone because she loves
it so much. When my watch got wet and the beep quit working, almost
every one of them offered to buy me a new watch battery or watch.
- I overheard one
of my clients, S, telling her friend how she hated me the first few
weeks of our workouts. She would be tight and sore getting out of bed
from using muscles she had never used before. Then, she said, she put
her clothes on and they fit looser and she would pick up the phone and
say "Teresa when are you coming back? I love you".
Client One-Liners and Excuses
- "I'm not
actually resting, I'm QUIVERING" - EE
- "I have six-pack
abs - they're just wearing a koozie!" - RT
- "How do you
expect me to lift my hips? The bone itself weighs 50 pounds!" -
- "I want weight
on the bar, NOT my butt" - LM
- "How can
I erase 20 beers off of my butt?" - LB
- One client arriving
for a workout while a group is leaving "Can I just pay you and
go shopping with them?" - KM
- One client while
punching vigorously on the bag "Is it wrong to love this so much?"
- "I came late,
can I leave early?" - DR
- "My butt
is so big that it's still on the ground when I do butt lifts" -
- "These crunches
even make my teeth hurt" - SL
- "I feel like
I'm stuck in a never-ending cartoon" - CC
- "I like how
my arms look, but I hate doing these exercises" - SD
- "Did you
make it harder just because I said I liked it?" - PH